Out of the mouths of babes..

After dropping Hayley off at the movies with her friends, the boys and I walked inside the mall to grab some eats from Panda Express. While standing in line, Austin points to something written in Chinese on the menu and says "Hey mom, I know what that language is, it's taekwondo!" Trying not to laugh too hard,  I explained to him that taekwondo is a sport, not a language, and that it would be like saying that something was written in football. He didn't get it. He insisted that it was written in taekwondo, and he knows this because when he got his yellow belt in taekwondo, something on his certificate looked "just like that language". He was so certain, and I was just too tired to argue, so I gave up. The asian lady standing in front of us did NOT look as amused as I was!

So today was the last day of school, and the kids are officially on spring break! I think we could all use a little respite from school. They got their report cards today, and the news is good! Hayley made honor roll with all A's and one B, in P.E of all things!  Matt's was a huge improvement from last semester with improvements in all subjects! We're pretty proud of Matt because school has always been such a struggle for him, and he's been trying so hard to stay on task and put more effort into his classwork. His hard work has paid off and it's nice to show him "proof" that he's smart and capable of doing a good job! Austin also had a good report with all +'s, and high marks in reading. This go-round is definitely going to cost us a little money (for Hayley) and a trip to Build-a-Bear (for the boys)!

In other news, the new carpet was installed upstairs this week and I love it! The company we went with (Fern's Flooring in Murrieta - their customer service is awesome!) upgraded our pad for FREE, which was way cool! It's soft and squishy, and the house no longer smells like dog butt. Chris is thrilled because I won't harp about it anymore! I lectured the kids about not wearing shoes upstairs, and so far so good. They even called me out for wearing my flip-flops on it today, which got me thinking. Which is dirtier, really? Flip flops, or sweaty, dirty feet? My bet is on the feet....

Thoughts on friendships and second chances...

I came across this post while reading my friend Tracy's blog.  I met Tracy while briefly serving on the PTA at our kids school. I call Tracy a friend because although we don't know each other well,  I seem to relate to so much to the things she writes about. She has a way of articulating exactly the things I'm thinking, and she cracks me up with her sense of humor! I recommend visiting her blog sometime, she's one funny and insightful chick!  

I read the following post by Tracy on a day when nothing was going right, I thought everyone was upset with me, my kids were out of control, I was in super-negative mode and all I wanted to do was just shut myself inside the house, avoid the phone and waddle in my own self-pity. Her post struck a chord with me, and to know that I wasn't alone in how I felt put things into perspective and made me feel better.  Everyone who knows me also knows that I suffer from foot-in-mouth syndrome. (Chris has said that he thinks I was born without a filter between my mouth and my brain). Though I totally don't mean to, sometimes I accidently hurt someone's feelings because stupid things just fly out of my mouth. I can barely stand it when I think someone is mad at me, especially if it's because of something I unintentionally did or said! 

Other times, I feel like I just don't fit in. Sometimes I feel like I'm not smart enough, hip enough, social enough, or cultured enough, and I always say the wrong things. I often feel like the most awkward person in the room. Sometimes I feel like I don't even know who I am exactly, probably due to the fact that so many times over the years I've based my own likes and dislikes on other people's opinions. How dumb is that?

What I should do is seek out and surround myself with friends that love me for who I am. That can see past my insecurities, mistakes, and the occasional dumb things that accidently get past my "filter". Friends that can listen to me vent without judgement, and actually value some of my opinions. Friends who don't mind coming over and hanging out knowing that the house may be a little loud or messy,  and don't mind an excited dog that might greet them by jumping up and sitting on their feet (she's always over it in about 2 minutes). Friends that make time to call and catch up every now and then. Friends that will let me apologize when I've done something stupid but not hold it against me later, or gossip about all my faults to other people. Most importantly, I need to work harder on being that kind of friend to others.

Anyway, here's a good read, compliments of Tracy!

So I thought I would post about second chances. It seems that there have been a lot of happenings in my life lately that have involved mistakes and opinions and judgments and hurt feelings.

I think it's very easy to be afraid to let people see that we're less than perfect. And it's very easy to be critical of others when they don't completely agree with us. I think I've been on both sides of that coin and I wish I couldn't say that. But it's true. I often feel judged and I judge other people. And I wish I didn't. Because we're all just hanging out - going through pretty much the same trials, just different specifics. I think we have WAY more in common than we think. And I think our commonalities can be found more in our imperfections than anything else. 

I remember, growing up, that I just loved to be ME, with no pretending. When I was young, I didn't care what others thought of me. I loved life and ENJOYED it. And somewhere along the line, I became more concerned about fitting into a mold and trying to be something I'm not. I think, in the process, I've lost some of myself. Why do we do that --- get caught up in what others think we should be instead of who we ARE???

I wish we could all just accept ourselves and others just as we are - with all our failings and idiosyncrasies. That we could just enjoy life and get over the mistakes that we and others make. That we could focus more on the second chances, instead of the mistakes themselves.

Wouldn't that make life way more fun??

I've been trying to be more true to myself. It's not easy. But I'm going to keep on trying. The true me is very forgiving. And fun. I don't dress up my words with frills to make them pretty - I just say what I think. And it's often the WRONG thing. (That's one of my most annoying weaknesses.) I struggle with being a good mom. I struggle with being a good wife. I REALLY struggle with being a good daughter. I get frustrated when things don't go my way. I have great ideas. I'm horrible at keeping house. And some people think I'm organized, but I'm really not. My life isn't perfect. And I need a never ending supply of second chances. 

And I guess that's all that I wanted to say. Don't we all need second chances like that???

Shock collars and other random things...

Maggie, our very naughty golden retriever, likes to eat anything she can find on the counters or pantry. She even fishes dirty dishes out of the sink in search of any remnants of food, and licks them clean. She's recently added sponges to her diet. We have tried everything to break her of this bad habit, but nothing has worked. Frustrated, we decided to get her a shock collar with a programmable range that would keep her out of the kitchen. It worked for two days. After that, our stubborn dog decided that the small "shock" it delivered was worth any prize she could score. In fact, we think she has actually grown fond of it. Crazy animal.

Anyway, the kids wanted to have some fun with the collar before we put it on ebay. They were curious as to what it felt like, so Hayley, Austin and Becca (Hayley's bff and my second daughter) decided to take turns shocking themselves silly. Matthew was the smart one and chose to watch, laugh and encourage the others. Where was I, you ask? Taking the pictures of course! 

I have weird kids, what can I say? Here are some random pictures from the past couple of weeks. There's Hayley and Matthew just before we left for school. These were taken on my D50 that has since been replaced with a D90! Woot woot! 

The following picture is of Austin's homework. Never mind the backwards 3 and bad math. It's his answer to the word problem that's pretty funny, especially when you read it - "Three girls were riding bicycles....". Notice anything funny in his picture of the bikes?

This next picture is from this morning's St. Patrick's Day assembly at the kids school. Chris drove all the way from work to play a few tunes on his pipes, then he changed and drove back to work to teach a CPR class. After that he's coming back home to finish up all the baseboard and painting that needs to be done before our new carpet gets installed on Thursday. He's such an awesome dad!

Say what?

Conversation with Hayley (12) when she got home from camp:

Hayley: The drummer (at church camp) was gorgeous!

Dad: So how old was he?

Hayley: Probably 16, 17, or 18. 

Mom: I don't think he looks 18. More like 16.

Hayley: I don't know, but in my mind he was 12....

Thoughts on Dad:

Mom: Do you know what your dad does at work?

Austin: He's a fireman.

Mom: Yes, but do you know what he does when he's at work?

Austin: He puts out fires, plays Xbox, watches TV, and goes to the grocery store. 

Matt climbs into the car waving around a colorful class project:

Matt: This is a Mexican dragon!

Dad: I don't think that's a Mexican dragon, son.

Matt: Yes it is!

Dad: Read the first sentence (there's a story that Matt wrote taped to the dragon).

Matt: I can't!

Dad: Yes you can, you wrote it. What does it say?

Matt: Chinese New Year.

Dad: There you go.

Can this house be de-slobbified?

Chores. Just say the word, and my kids sigh, roll their eyes, whine and even throw tearful, full-blown tantrums. It's ridiculous. Notice Hayley in this picture? Lovely, isn't she? This is her typical chore resistance look, usually followed by "why do I always have to do the dishes?", even though it's usually me who does the dish washing. Frankly, I think they have it way too easy. I don't make them do HALF the amount of chores I was required to do when I was their age! (Warning: a "when I was a kid" rant up ahead!)

By the time I was 8 or 9, I was required to wash and dry dishes, wash and fold laundry, keep my room spotless, dust, vacuum, rake leaves and other household chores. Now granted, my parents were tyrants (sorry mom, you know it's true) but still, we did those dreaded chores, and we didn't argue about it or blow them off. No way. That would have resulted in swift corporal punishment, something that most children these days are sheltered from because of the fear that a firm swat to their pampered behinds or a mouthful of soap could psychologically damage them for the rest of their lives. That itself could be a blog discussion (and a long run-on sentence) for another day, but I digress...

I don't ask a lot from my kids. In fact, I haven't required them to do much around the house other than eat, sleep and breathe. Even then, sometimes getting them to do just two of those three minor tasks poses a challenge for me. It's not that I haven't tried to get them to be more tidy and responsible, it just seems to go in one ear and out the other. Also, my version of clean is usually different than everyone else's version (including my husband's), so often times it's just easier to do something myself. Chris, however, has become disgusted with the laziness and lack of initiative that goes on in this house, and I have to agree with him. Our children are slobs, and we need to run a tighter ship.

Last week I spent a couple of hours decontaminating the boys room and recovering their toys from all over the house. It was pretty bad - acorns and random rocks under beds, legos everywhere, boogers on the wall, dirty pull-ups under the bed and dirty clothes mixed with clean. The next day, it took them half that time to destroy it all over again. After reminding them over and over to clean it up, I did what any fed up mom would do - I told them that if they didn't pick up their toys, I would go in there with a trash bag and do it myself. This warning was first met with tears and fears, and then disregarded. So today, while they napped, I finally followed through and took every toy out of their room except for their favorite nighttime stuffies, books, and their new Didji video games. When they woke up and saw what I had done, they were ticked. Austin sat on the floor in the middle of his room, distraught over the loss of his new light saber and his Pokeman cards. Matt sort of wandered around his empty space, not too surprised, but curious as to whether or not he could still play the Wii, located downstairs. The kid has his priorities.

They're going to have to earn their toys back, and that is by being responsible and simply picking up after themselves. It shouldn't be too hard with what little possessions they still have left, but you never know. I've also decided that at 6 and 7, they aren't too young to start putting their own clothes away (a chore I'm not fond of). I color coordinated their closet to help make it easier for them to put things where they belong. The bonus, their organized clothes make for a nice rainbow in their closet! Todays attempt at hanging their own clothes was mildly successful. Matt thought it was cool (it's like a pattern, mom). Austin, not so much. Only a few clothes were hung out of the color order. We'll try again tomorrow.


Now, what to do with Hayley. Up until a couple of years ago, she had the cleanest room in the house. From early on, she was extremely organized and a bit of a neat-nik, to the point that she would know if you moved a book several inches on her desk. We used to mess with her stuff just to see if she'd notice, and she almost always would! It was a habit we liked to brag about, as if having a child who was extremely tidy was a reflection of our fabulous parenting. Well, apparently our parenting skills weren't all that, because her quest for tidiness has now been replaced by her dislike of anything that takes her away from texting, watching TV, and playing on her computer. She has until the end of this week to restore order to her room, or she's going to lose the phone, computer, and quite possibly the TV. We're SO mean.

Something Chris and I have to keep in mind is that our kids learn by watching, which means that we have to pay more attention to our own slobbery. So, being that this is the start of a new year, our family is going to set goals of de-slobbifying our house and becoming more responsible, with a new challenge every month. Baby steps, if you will. This month we are organizing our personal space, our bedrooms, while learning that there are consequences for not keeping them clean. Next month maybe we'll tackle the garage, or organize our kitchen. By the end of the year, our house should be completely organized and running like a well-oiled machine. We might even have some more responsible kids. Consider it our new year's resolution!

Christmas!

I know, it's been a long time since I've posted anything. I don't have a good excuse, so I'm not even going to try!

December was full of busy fun! As usual, it came and went in the blink of an eye. Chris had to work Christmas day, so we celebrated on Christmas Eve. Our parents came over, and we enjoyed a nice holiday dinner, then opened gifts. Like many others this year, Chris and I decided to tone down the gifts this year, and limit Santa to bringing only two gifts each. I was a little worried about it, since Santa usually spoils the kids, but we had a budget and we faithfully stuck to it. I don't think the kids even noticed! They were so happy with what the gifts they did get, and very thankful. It was a small, but very special Christmas! The best part about it - I won't have a stroke when the credit card bill comes next month! The electric bill, however, is another story.

I am a little sad about our tree. We have one of those really nice, realistic looking fake ones. It's supposed to be a Black Forest Spruce, I think, and it has almost 1000 white lights (don't get me started on the never-ending white lights/colored lights debate Chris and I have). Anyway, it has a section of lights that just stopped working. Chris claims he has spent more than enough time looking for the problem, and can't figure out what why they won't work. Translated, he basically means that they're going to stay that way, so suck it up and throw a strand of lights on it next year. Secretly, I think he's doing a mental happy dance, because he's never been a fan of the fake tree. Or the white lights. He gives me major grief about it every year, despite the fact that it's a beautiful, non-combustible, sturdy tree, and paid for itself three Christmas's ago. It brings to mind my favorite holiday movie, A Christmas Story. I think that the tree is my Major Award, and he broke it. ON PURPOSE. Speaking of leg lamps, guess what Chris got for Christmas? Yep, he got his own "Major Award", ready to place proudly in front of our window next year! Hee hee....thanks mom-in-law!

Chris does get grumpy about the tree, but he's a great gift-giver! This year I got Lightroom 2 to edit my pictures, pj's, and underwear, which I asked for, in his defense. He got binoculars, and a laser level from my mom. You should have seen him with that level, he was so stoked. It was his Red Rider BB gun! Ok....I really need to stop it with the Christmas Story stuff already.

Here are some pictures from Christmas!

Cougar Volleyball

Hayley plays JV volleyball on her school team, and we're at the end of the season. The team started off a little shaky, but they worked hard, pulled together and made it to the playoffs! Yesterday was the first playoff game against Linfield Christian, and we WON!!! It was an awesome, nail-biting game. Seriously, my heart can barely handle it. Our next game is on Wednesday. Can't wait!

I have to take a moment to brag about how awesome our girls are. The Cougars have always been sort of the underdogs. They're playing against schools that have state of the art gyms, and year-round practice. We don't have a home gym, so our girls have had to practice in 90 degree weather on blacktop, and even had to cancel a few practices because of the heat. They practice seasonally, not all year long.  But there is something our girls have that I've noticed most other teams lacking, and that is awesome team spirit! Good volleys, bad volleys, great serves, not so great serves - every play, good or bad, the girls would high five, cheer and encourage each other. They didn't make each other feel bad for missing a serve or not getting the ball over the net. They had the best sportsmanship out of all the teams out there, and it made all us parents proud.

They also have two fantastic coaches, Ed and Lyn, whose dedication and words of encouragement helped take these girls from the underdogs, to the team to beat! I'm so proud of the team, and proud of Hayley. I took some shots of the game but the lighting was too low for any quality pics. Here are a few shots of my girl!